10 things about self quarantine. (my version)

Ok.
Everyone now knows that if a person has just came back from a vacation abroad, self quarantine is necessary.
For those of you who have no idea, I gotta ask, have you been living in a cave?
Anyway, today, on the front page of The Star, they published a whole section on 10 things about self quarantine.
I felt that it needed a little spicing up.
So this is what I came up with.
Sorry to say it's less than ten.
I couldn't think of anymore.
Hahaaaa.

10 Things (or less) about self quarantine.
1)Stay home for the entire duration imposed and keep away from family members. Positive effects- A great way for slackers to get away from school or work. Go near a foreigner or take a picture with them. Show the picture to your teacher and tell them that you have been abroad. And that's your ticket to a one week period of being self quarantined. As for the staying away from family members part, who doesn't like a moment of silence since we no longer have to put up with parents screaming their heads off.

2)Do not leave home especially for tuition classes and weddings. Positive effects-OOoooOOhh, this sure is a good one. No tuition!!!! That must be great for those of you who actually go tuition. I don't go, so I wouldn't know.Hehe. Not going for weddings! Thats the best thing I have heard so far! We don't have to listen to relatives bragging about their kids anymore! Thank goodness. No need to worry about starting conversations. No worries about offending people.

3)Get help from others to obtain daily necessities or food. Positive effects-Please do yourself a favour and make full use of this advantage. I can visualize it now.

' darling, what do you what to eat?'

'oh, simple! a rib eye steak from Chilis, angel hair pasta from pasta mania, a smoothie from juice lab, 2 chocolate marshmellow brownies, 4# cheese pizza from yellow cab, lamb chop from Madam Kwans, La Bodega escargot, and anything else you can find'

'ha! you crazy ah?

'you ask, I answer lah! Eh, better buy for me you know, pity me lah, I very very sick. This sick can die me! Very lethal. Like kung fu movie. One time kena pow can KO.'

Yeah, just as I pictured it.

4)Avoid contact with people who help.-Hold on hold on. I don't get it. The previous point in the newspaper said that we should get help from others. This point says we can't. This sure is confusing.

5)Wear a mask at all times-Positive effects. Come on now. We can all start a trend! Masks everywhere. Add some style to the mask. Decorate it or something. Sell masks as a living. Do something do anything!Helps hide your ghastly pimples too.

6)Follow updates on influenza A on the tv. Positive- You know you're gonna love this. As you follow the updates on the tv, when no one is looking, turn into ninja mode and swiftly grab the remote to change the channel. For an hour or so, you can watch your favourite shows in peace. Well, unless a parent comes in and grounds you for a month or so. Haha.

well, that's it for today.
please stay tuned for more updates on the H1N1 virus.

WARNING AND PRECAUTION: All the information which is available on this post is -10% accurate. 50 people have tried and all 50 of them had many after effects (not good ones. lol)
Well, you can't blame me! I said my ideas were good, not effective ok?

If you are reading this sentence, it means you have been a loyal reader to get this far into a post.
Let me express my appreciation by saying.
Thanks.
And no, you don't get a gift.
Tehee!